Bittersweet Mother's Day

   Today is a bittersweet but different day….It’s Mother’s Day. As I woke up this morning I felt overjoyed. Today is a day I can actually celebrate being a mother. Then again, I think back to 4 years ago, especially last year, when I dreaded this day, cried tears of pain, skipped church due to all the Mother’s being acknowledged as I stayed seated and had so many questions as to why I had to go through this agony.  

   I say this day is bittersweet because I celebrate the miracles God has given us while at the same time my heart hurts and always will ache for my those who yearn to become mothers and experience the same emotions I felt on Mother’s Day. As I cried today, I cried tears of joy and tears of pain. Infertility, as we have said before, is something no one will understand unless you have walked the path. Days like Mother’s and Father’s Day are very difficult. I remember years of being in church and seeing all the Mother’s stand and be honored. My heart broke as I longed to stand. Today was different…I was able to stand but was hesitant as I thought about other women sitting around me. I remember that feeling of emptiness and longing to stand and say “I’m a mom.” As I stood today, tears fell as I placed my hand on my belly, prayed and thanked God for the 2 miracles he has allowed me to carry. As I held Jared’s hand I was overwhelmed by emotions.

  Jared read me an article this morning about a woman who longed to be a mother. She sent this letter to a pastor regarding the acknowledgment of mothers in church on Mother’s Day. Tears swelled up as he read it to me. We know Pastors have good intentions but a woman should be acknowledged in every way, not just because she is a mother. The author encouraged church's to recognize women as follows : 

To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you, To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you, To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you, To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you, To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is, To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you, To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you, To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you, To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you, To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience, To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst, To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children - we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be, but we know that God has amazing plans for you, To those who step-parent - we walk with you on these complex paths, To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren, yet that dream is not to be - we grieve with you, To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you ,To those who placed children up for adoption – we commend you for your selflessness and remember how you hold that child in your heart And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you.

   As I end this entry, I encourage everyone who is a mother to be sensitive to others on days like today. You never know what another woman is going through or what kind of burden she is carrying. There can sometimes be a heavy burden hiding behind a simple smile. I know it is the polite thing to say “Happy Mother’s Day” to women but I remember that feeling when I heard those words and wanted to say….”I’m not a mom, thanks for reminding me that I’m not.” I encourage women who are waiting to start their families to remember these verses:

 Cast all your cares and anxieties and worries on him, for he cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. 1 Peter 5: 7

Thank God in everything no matter what the circumstance may be, be thankful and give him thanks for this is the will of God for you who are in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden and overburdened and I will cause you to rest. I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11: 28-29